The Hot Series is not a style of Yoga I would
have chosen for myself, so when the opportunity to learn and teach this style
showed up unexpectedly, I chose to accept .
I am sharing my experiences in the Hot Studio not to promote or critique
this style of Yoga, but to give Voice to what I discovered about myself, and
the life I was creating, through this practice. Showing Up Yoga showed up for me at a time of great uncertainty. I had created my Energy Practice and had been
teaching Nia for a few years, but everything I had accomplished in both areas
felt like a struggle. I knew I was on
the right path, but creating space for myself happened by a sheer force of
will. And because of my uncertainty, the
space I had allowed for myself was small - and getting smaller by the minute, to
the extent that I knew if I wanted to remain in this space at all, something
needed to change. I just wasn’t sure
what that ‘something’ was. In an attempt to help me expand, one of my Nia
students put me in touch with a local Yoga Studio Owner. It took us multiple attempts over several
months to connect. I had actually given
up on the idea, so when we finally did talk and set a time to meet, I knew I
needed to pay attention. I thought we
were meeting to talk about Nia and possibly put a workshop on the studio’s
calendar. But, I left that day signed up
for Yoga Teacher Training. At the time,
I didn’t know what style of Yoga I had signed up to learn, but I knew it didn’t
matter. For the first time in a long
time, this was an opportunity that came easily and I was excited about it. I knew this had to be a sign. From the moment I stepped into the studio to
meet the owner, I felt at home, like I was supposed to be there. For someone who had created space by her own
will power, this was definitely new and different…and a little unsettling. I did not understand why I felt so much at
ease – so at home – in this space that was foreign to me, but this studio was
to become the place where I felt safe to go within and to discover why I was
keeping myself so small and why I was hiding from the world. “Nothing
ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.” ~
Booker T. Washington Yoga Teacher Training Asanas I discovered on the first morning of movement
that I would be studying the Hot Series and the Vinyasa style of Yoga. My brain could not quite catch up to the
concept that this is what I had signed up for, as it had no prior experience to
which it could attach itself and only squeaked out, “Wait. What?!” I felt the presence of fear in the pit of my
stomach and I sat with both my brain and my stomach, allowing them to settle
down while assuring them everything really would be alright. I didn’t know why, but I knew I was meant to
be here. I listened to my fellow Teacher
Trainees share their first experiences with the Hot Series. My brain and stomach did not feel assured. However, what they both could understand is
that these styles of Yoga found me and there must be a reason why, even though
it was not clear in this moment. So, my
fear calmed down and was replaced by a sense of curiosity and wonder. If this group of people I was training with
had come to love this style, I was game to be present and to discover the gifts
before me. “Curiosity… is what separates the truly alive
from those who are merely going through the motions.” ~ Tom Robbins Hot Yoga: Take 1 My intention for my very first Hot Yoga class was the
following mantra: “Don’t throw up. Don’t pass out.” This may seem a bit extreme, but I was not
sure how my Body would react to this practice and I was afraid I would do one
or both. My mantra must have worked,
because I did neither, to my relief. I
learned quickly in the Hot Studio to accept exactly where I was in my practice
with each of the Asanas. I did my best
and I got through it, still unclear as to why I was doing in a Hot Studio. As with all things, I knew there had to be a
reason. So, I decided to keep my
curiosity and sense of wonder…and to wait. Hot Yoga: Take 2 I had already proven that I could survive this class, so my
fear of embarrassing myself completely had subsided. My intention for my practice today was to
Honor each of the Poses. I wanted to
experience each Asana, testing my boundaries and pushing what I believed were
my limitations. What drew me to Yoga in the first place was my desire to build
strength, which I believed I lacked. For
this second class, I did each of the poses to my fullest expression. That does not mean I did the ‘full’ pose or
that I did each of the Asanas well. But,
I ended the class with a great sense of accomplishment. With my success, my brain started to believe
that I really was supposed to be here and that I belonged here…for some reason. Hot Yoga: Take 3 Already in my practice, I knew I could make it
through the class and I knew I could attempt each pose. Today, my intention was to Honor my
Body. I went into the Asanas only to the
extent my Body said, “This is enough.” I
came down to my mat in Child’s Pose when my Body said, “I need to rest.” I drank water when my Body said, “I am
thirsty.” My focus for my practice on
this day was to be with my Body without judgment, just to practice the Asanas
as my Body needed to experience them.
The intention to Honor my Body allowed me to deepen my experience with
the Hot Series: to move from the physical aspects into a spiritual practice. I began to move within and to connect with
all that was going on inside of me. I
found more strength and courage than I had imagined. “The greatest battle you wage against failure
occurs on the inside, not the outside.” ~ John Maxwell The Path to Surrender As my practice continued, I began to realize
there really was a reason the Hot Series found me. After each practice, I felt like I could take
on the World: “If I can do this, I can do anything.” During one practice, my energy was too spent
to do Tree pose (Vrksasana). So, I had
come down to my mat in Child’s Pose, watching other students who were not in Child’s Pose. At first, I berated myself for not being strong
enough to continue. But, when I let go
of my expectations for myself and for my practice, I was able to see how happy
I felt for those around me and being where they were with their practice. And I saw beautiful Trees all around me. I realized in that one moment that I was
beginning to let go of resentment I held for what I perceived to be my own
short-comings and I was beginning to let go of competition, within myself and with
others. By learning to enjoy the view – to
enjoy what was in that moment – I was learning to Surrender: to my needs, my
desires, my weaknesses, my strengths.
For me, Surrender was a hard, HARD lesson. And, a beautiful gift. Expanding
the Smallness The feeling of
being able to take on the World was a side effect that stayed with me outside
of the Hot Studio. As part of my Yoga
Teacher Training, I was teaching my fellow trainees the 7 Major Chakra
Energies. I noticed on the first day of
my teaching, I was not nervous. I was
not nervous AT ALL. It was an odd
feeling, standing there, completely at ease while teaching. This was new.
And, it was invigorating. I felt
like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Finally! When I started to
let go of the resentments and judgments I hadn’t even realized I was holding
against myself, other things within me started to change. I was no longer afraid for people to show up
and be with me, to listen and ask questions.
When I stopped rejecting myself, I stopped expecting others to reject
me. It became acceptable for me to share
who I am with others because I realized that if I accept myself, it’s okay if
you don’t. And I found, that for the
most part, others accepted me, too. I
began to feel comfortable inviting others into my world, which continues to
expand. Ultimately, the Hot Series
taught me that the ‘something’ that needed to change was me. When I learned to surrender, I learned to
accept all of myself. I learned to LOVE
myself – inside and out - in a BIG way. “The
important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for
existing.” ~ Albert Einstein Taking these Lessons off the Mat Since graduation, I have been saying ‘Yes!’ to all that I
find nourishing, including teaching opportunities that put me in front of
people. I am still not completely
comfortable in this space, but it feeds my Soul. I have also been saying ‘No’ to what is no
longer serving me. How I tell the
difference is whether or not these opportunities show up easily. Talk about shifting gears! Prior to my experience with the Hot Series, I
believed you had to work hard to succeed.
I have let go of that belief in exchange for releasing all that does not
come with an open door. I have also accepted that in order to create space for new
opportunities, I have to release some old ones.
The really important lesson in saying ‘Yes’ and in saying ‘No’ is knowing
these responses can change in a moment. These
moments of change make it easier to let go.
Just because I let go of something or someone today doesn’t mean I let
go forever, unless that is my true desire. To give attention to my Yoga practice as a Teacher, I decided
to let go of teaching Nia, for an undetermined amount of time. This decision was not easy. Nia is my Heart. But, I needed to change my relationship with
it. And, in letting go of Nia for just a
little while, I have found a renewed love for the Dance in that Nia is now
inviting me. I am looking forward to see
how Nia and Yoga play together as I continue on this path. When you decide to open yourself to something that is new for you, whether it is the Hot
Series or a different flavor of ice cream, do so with an open mind and an open
Heart, receiving the gifts that are there for you. Always.
Who knew there was BIG LOVE in the Hot Studio? “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk
curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the
human spirit.” ~ E.E. Cummings |
 |
|||||
 
|
|
 |
|||
    |
|||||
